Has your every word ever been a truth?
Your actions and reactions not induced by your nether regions?
Liar, lie, please lie.
Please lie so i’ll pull’em down
and realize there’s really nothing there!

Your touch was a lie
your kiss was a lie
Most of all do i care?
Liar please lie
Lie as you kiss me
Lie as you call me
Liar, hurt me?
Hardly.
My pride more than my soul
Liar please, let’s hear your speech
If it isn’t what the crickets already told me. …

I could have been
I could have been
except now, i won’t stand for it.

A liar lies
A womanizer tries
Liar please, entertain me
Liar please…my tongue might slip
My papers might flow

OH MY, was that an msn conversation up on my station?
Oh shit, our SMS on my blog?

Liar, what have you done?

My deceitful eyes
Turned me into a man’s stepping stone
A lover’s threshold
As they cheated my fragile heart
Taunting my soul to
Straighten out the wrinkles on my bed
The wrinkles on my heart
And curl to sleep

My chocolate irises lure you into a world
As ephemeral as my moods,
My arousals, my emotions
And my soul
They’re amber today,
Or Brown tomorrow
They could be
Toffee with anger
Or Hazel under your touch
Just believe me when I say my brown eyes lie
Until they rest on what’s next

I’d like to stop
Stop loving a man for just one night
Wake up in arms that hold me tight
Arms I desire
And that desire me back
Stop wanting him now and hating him tomorrow
Unveil the turmoil my brown irises cover

Was I meant for you? No
You were meant for me…
As were the others who’ve looked into my shameless eyes
My lying eyes, my cheated heart, my illusory soul…
I cheated myself
Do I regret? No
Do I want to switch lanes? Yes
How i wish my eyes could lie…
to you.

Real Poetry is when he holds her, silently acquiescing to all her demands
caressing her lips and calming down the rhythm of her heart
Real poetry is when I look at my friends
the twinkle in their eyes putting the constellations to shame
“No red carpet, no angry neither stare, nor jealous tongue should make you doubt that you’re my girl”
Every night I’ve seen him wear his heart on his sleeve,
sleep at the crook of her neck;
Satisfied that her face will be first in the morning
Embracing the comfort it brings
Before putting on the mask of the spotlight
Inducing the lies and possessiveness …
His position inherits

He sings to her
And she smiles
He kisses her in delight
Revels in their emotions

It’s all silent whispers
Sweet nothings
Let it rain, let it storm
He’ll be drenched
Nonetheless he’s right here with her
That’s real poetry
As Symphonies melt two hearts.
If two become one
I’ve seen it only with them
I can’t help but smile…
Real poetry is love

My wrist curves gently as I think about their two complexions
Brown Sugar and Caramel…
My eyes swell up lightly
When I compare their happiness to mine
Why can’t I live, what they live?
How can she find happiness and I find Lucifer?
How could an Adonis turn into an illusion?
Is it the lack of emotion?
Is it his lack of self respect?
Or a need of etching that mask into his skin?
His fingers sure can caress
So carelessly, so sensually…
His fingers can embrace her heart and blind her eyes
Taunt my soul and pull its strings
And caress this one’s face, as he lies
As. he. Lies.
But 3’s a crowd in a game of hearts

He’s here again…and she’s happy again
Brown eyes meet hazelnut
I know she’ll run and he’ll catch her
And I’ll smile because I’ve never seen my friend so happy
I want Real Poetry…like theirs

just imagine a crazed bushy haired short, girl in a night gown, chewed on nails with ink under them, scribbling furiously in a journal

For the sake of my soul I could admit that I’m insane. Anyone seeing me right now , would admit that I’m insane…A constant feeling of being fucked up in the head, and that’s why I’m constantly writing…writing again, scratching on rough paper, ink under my fingernails, hair in disarray….WRITING.

Never mind though, this isn’t a story. This is me. This is me tied together with a smile and coming undone ungracefully. This is what I do, my words are pretty or my words are raw, whichever the case may be, a part of me is always in between the lines. I have a million words plaguing my brain, making me the pariah of the usual world. I’ve been reaching out, but do the blind see the blind? The deaf hear the deaf? Do I want to be pulled out? My pen is my confident, my best friend, I need to scribble idly, furiously.

I’m one of those…The ones who do not need to think about what the next words are, the ones who do not cry (per say), but write it out. Verses on napkins, quotes on covers and paragraphs on loose leaf…. If I were to believe every anecdote and quote about the heart and the soul I’d be in my most solemn and serious right to admit that mines look like something next to chopped, flawed, dry liver. This is my journal, not Anne Franck’s.

I’ve come undone and broken into thousand of little pieces but none of them fit into my puzzle, none of them reflect me. Not to branch out on the syndrome of the martyr but let’s put down the blazing gun, omit the spit and fire and be honest…we crave this pain; we hate the drama but crave the pain, because it’s the writer’s muse.

The whole “feel your heart out, reach for the moon, follow your heart” speech is nice, it is;

and there will always be someone out there to give it…but has anyone ever told you in a conversation to reach for the stars and if you FAIL not fall, fail. You’ll land on a cloud (just watch out for the ozone layer)? I didn’t think so. We’re human beings…we’re sensate, passionate, emotive human beings that should have “completely utterly wild and stupid” as our middle names.

Me? I’m caged. I’m queen to King Midas in reverse…everything I touch I ruin, I am self destructive; it’s the story of my life to turn solutions into problems. Sometimes I do things that make me think I’m insane…I make mistakes, that’s what I do. I speak without thinking, I act without knowing but God knows I mean well. In all honesty, if you have the will, God gives you the strength…My will is weak.

My only friends are my pen and the dance floor…I express my deepest emotions and feel every movement because it’s my passion. On paper, as my heart pours out what my soul dictates, my every thought and emotion is on these few lines, caressed by the curving of my wrist with each word I write…The smell of paper and ink, the ache of the writer’s cramp. I crave, I need.

I write for the sake of my soul, i write to admit that I’m insane..
Who are you? What have you done lately?

“I have found it easier to identify with the characters who verge upon hysteria, who were frightened of life, who were desperate to reach out to another person. But these seemingly fragile people are the strong people really.”- Tennessee Williams

you play your role so well to that other, I wish I was.
You play your role well, to the one who holds what I wish I had.
You play your role oh so well
in that dimension I should be part of, but I’m not.

I have no right to complain, or cry.
From that first forbidden kiss-crossing that line- to last night as you kissed my neck
and I forgot where I stood; me the other chick.
I begin to feel the weight of reality closing its pages on me.

I should get up and leave, never be your stepping stone
but i am green with envy.

She gets the privilege of her name being spoken
she’s unhidden and she’s in your bed.
The bed I’ve never slept in.
You proudly drop her off in the morning
And slyly pick me up at twilight
I wait impatiently hidden in the shadows,
prisoner to our late night texts
To the way you hold me
Prisoner to you
Prisoner to me

You love her.
You fuck me.
I love you

When you call on me,
I know you wish these arms were hers.

My fiction won’t ever become reality.

I was browsing yahoo news today, (although it is 11:35 and technically i am in my Intro to Computers class ( bad bad bad Emmanuelle tsk tsk tsk ) when i saw the main article posted : ” Baggy pants ban “unconstitutional”, rules US judge. Today’s blog is a personal note…or rant, call it however you want.

 I’ve always hated, and i must emphasize on the word HATED saggy, baggy, jeans that men would shrugg off and classify as “comfortable”. Not because of the prejudices it easily brings in the mind, or because of the lack of taste or class it sparks but because it simple makes you all walk like chimps!

 Why can’t a man wear something classy,comfortable and in style without having   to expose his buttox, underwear or butt “crack” to me? it’s enough that what they call a “swagger” (AKA the fact that the inseam of their jeans falls down on their knees) makes them dwaddle around like ducks and penguins! i’m sorry guys, but to be guttly honest wearing these jeans make you look like you went on an emergency fad diet and ran out of clothes that fit you.

Women are definitely not interested in seeing your buttcheeks while you’re walking or bending down, neither are we interested in the color or brand of boxers you are wearing today! having your belt right under your butt AKA wearing your pants “half-mast” only makes you look like you’re muffin toped…and that is just the opinion of a blogging 18 year old girl.

The article stated

MIAMI (AFP) - A Florida judge has deemed unconstitutional a law banning baggy pants that show off the wearer’s underwear, local media reported Tuesday.

A 17-year-old spent a night in jail last week after police arrested him for wearing low pants in Riviera Beach, southeast Florida.

The law banning so-called “saggy pants” was approved by city voters in March after supporters of the bill collected nearly 5,000 signatures to put the measure on the ballot.

The teen would have received a 150 dollars fine or community service, but he spent the night in jail due to a history of marijuana use, the Palm Beach Post newspaper said.

“Somebody help me,” said Palm Beach Circuit Judge Paul Moyle, before giving his decision.

“We’re not talking about exposure of buttocks. No! We’re talking about someone who has on pants whose underwear are apparently visible to a police officer who then makes an arrest and the basis is he’s then held overnight, no bond.”

“Your honor, we now have the fashion police,” added public defender Carol Bickerstaff, who asked the law be declared “unconstitutional.”

The judge agreed with Bickerstaff immediately, reported the Post.

Laws that ban low-slung pants are on the books in several US cities, including Delcambre, Louisiana, where offenders can be fined up to 500 dollars or jailed for up to six months.

Dallas, Texas and Atlanta, Georgia are among the larger US cities considering similar measures.

I am a huge and complete supporter of this new law. http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080916/od_afp/usfashionjusticeoffbeat

Your thoughts?

Barry University seems to be taking the most of me. Since summer has been over, i’ve been very busy. The kind of busy where you need 8 red bulls and good friends.

I’ve been writting, just not posting

Bear with me

Mucho Loving!

Emmanuelle

As my pen scratched angrily against the rough paper

I live in a Sugar-less world

Reality is bitter

And every wing is clipped

The beds are empty,

The minds are scared

And the hearts are cold

Awakened

I pacify my emotions.

My hair looks like a hay stack,

My night gown is falling off one shoulder

My nails are stained blue with Ink

But I like it.

Standing before the mirror

My reflection is the only witness to life’s mocking reality

“Well, good morning sweetheart

Don’t you look like shit”

That’s what the glass whispers vehemently

The day takes too long

In the doldrums,

The rain taps on my roof

Like a symphony of sounds

Beads scattering against tile

Like a sad song

A violin of sorrow

My pen scratches idly

My candle flickers…

Was I given a paintbrush

I’d paint the world colors it shouldn’t be

Because my eyes prematurely opened

To it’s black and white reality

The best moments of our life

Are our tears, heartbreaks and smiles

The sunsets, the sunshines

The truly undefined

And kindly unspoken moments

Our inconvenient truths are hidden

Carefully in a black trash bag

Standing out in a room of white

A humming bird once told me

my spirit, lulled of the tortures

Would never be free

Of the scarlet letter branded unto me.

Every man that has seen me

Every man that has loved me

Every man that has touched me

Was he ecstasy for a minute?

Or regret for a lifetime?

My hopes,

my dreams,

The joy of a hug,

the thrill of a kiss,

my ignorance of pure, simple bliss.

Is something to burn.

I’ve never had the best of the worlds

I’ve never had ever, ever, after

My beauty’s a pest

My body’s a curse

My mind’s haunted by regret

And a thirst for respect

The respect I never thought of

when my head hit a pillow

When my body was a wonderland

The love and respect I demand now.

I cry for fun,

and giggle for pain,

Today I cry

Tomorrow I dream

Tonight, I live.

In my sugar-less world.

It has never felt so good

To mix tears and rain

Blood and Ink

I’m dead beat tired. Yours Truly went to bed yesterday at 6 AM only to wake up at 8 and drive my Father to the Airport. I’m up, and i can’t go back to sleep. I am not in the mood to do anything but paint and blast music
so i’m doing a mural in my room
Mucho loving

And here’s my playlist

1. Do you know By Enrique Iglesias
2. Adagio for Strings played by the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra
3. Again by Lenny Kravitz
4. Always be my Baby by Mariah Carey
5. Bed of Lies by Matchbox 20
6. Baby it’s a fact by HelloGoodbye
7. If i never see your face again by Maroon 5 feat Rihanna
8. Can’t take my eyes off of you by Lauryn Hill
9. Bad Day by Daniel Powter
10. Cold Cold Heart by Nora Jones
11. Dear Jamie…Sincerely Me by HelloGoodbye
12. I’m yours Jason Mraz
13.Say by John mayer
14. Elysian Fields by Casey Frazier
15. Everything by LifeHouse
16. Home By Michael Buble
17. You look Wonderful tonight by Michael Buble
18. Claire De Lune by Claude Debussy
19. Lloro Por ti By Enrique Iglesias
20. Iris By Goo Goo Dolls
21. Shake it by MetroStation
22. I Write Sins not Tragedies by Panic at the Disco!
23. Les Rois Du Monde by Romeo and juliette the french Musical
24. Om-Mani-Padme-Hum Chant by Buddhist Monks recorded last year
25. In Another Life by The Veronicas
26. She’s by Ryan Cabrera
27. 7 things by Miley Cirus
28. What a Wonderful world by Louis Armstrong
29. River Flows in you by Yurima
30. Silhouettes in Sunsets by Feltbeats (a pretty talented young man)

I recommend Silhouettes in Sunsets, you will find yourself humming along as paint splashes on your old, worn out jeans. It’ s Available on ITunes
This is the official Website : www.feltbeats.co.uk
or www.feltbeats.com
or look him up on Youtube “feltbeats”

Toodles!

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