My dim light, offered no comfort last night

As my pen scratched angrily against the rough paper

I live in a Sugar-less world

Reality is bitter

And every wing is clipped

The beds are empty,

The minds are scared

And the hearts are cold

Awakened

I pacify my emotions.

My hair looks like a hay stack,

My night gown is falling off one shoulder

My nails are stained blue with Ink

But I like it.

Standing before the mirror

My reflection is the only witness to life’s mocking reality

“Well, good morning sweetheart

Don’t you look like shit”

That’s what the glass whispers vehemently

The day takes too long

In the doldrums,

The rain taps on my roof

Like a symphony of sounds

Beads scattering against tile

Like a sad song

A violin of sorrow

My pen scratches idly

My candle flickers…

Was I given a paintbrush

I’d paint the world colors it shouldn’t be

Because my eyes prematurely opened

To it’s black and white reality

The best moments of our life

Are our tears, heartbreaks and smiles

The sunsets, the sunshines

The truly undefined

And kindly unspoken moments

Our inconvenient truths are hidden

Carefully in a black trash bag

Standing out in a room of white

A humming bird once told me

my spirit, lulled of the tortures

Would never be free

Of the scarlet letter branded unto me.

Every man that has seen me

Every man that has loved me

Every man that has touched me

Was he ecstasy for a minute?

Or regret for a lifetime?

My hopes,

my dreams,

The joy of a hug,

the thrill of a kiss,

my ignorance of pure, simple bliss.

Is something to burn.

I’ve never had the best of the worlds

I’ve never had ever, ever, after

My beauty’s a pest

My body’s a curse

My mind’s haunted by regret

And a thirst for respect

The respect I never thought of

when my head hit a pillow

When my body was a wonderland

The love and respect I demand now.

I cry for fun,

and giggle for pain,

Today I cry

Tomorrow I dream

Tonight, I live.

In my sugar-less world.

It has never felt so good

To mix tears and rain

Blood and Ink