My dearest piece of heart …niece, goddaughter…. I guess

I spent countless nights, pen in hand, stressing over a way to start my letter to you…in french? In English? …something I should have done the day you were born; not 7 months later. When will you get it? All comes in time to those who learn to wait (funny to hear that from me; the overly impatient)

You don’t know me, but I’ve learned to care for you, to love you and be a part of your life anyway I could. One day, you will understand this letter, I’m sure, and the tears, smiles, sadness, respect and pride of your family history. But my dear, as you start reading this keep these things in mind: Love, Forgive but don’t forget, and you are not in anyway responsible of anything. See as I’m writing you this I’m only 17.

Though I am the youngest one; I’ve learned quickly to be the rational one, the strong one…and I hate it…I probably still do, who knows? I’ve often wished to live and let be for a little while. To let my eyes see everything and nothing in their time. I’ve picked up every piece that has ever fallen behind in your mother’s family. I realized I had eaten my words for too long and nothing had changed…Until you were born.

[I’m scoffing one of my sarcastic scoffs, your aunt my dear is the most sarcastic woman you will find] I do not mind, no, not at all. Who’d have guessed I’d ever learn to let the walls around me burn? Darling, I don’t know if I’ll ever see you, but I can tell you…you‘re Beautiful. Although all I see of you are pictures I can tell you have a lovely smile and a fiery temper, but that’s all the women in our family.

Call me teacher, call me friend, It’s the best I can do. I don’t know when I’ll hold you, see you smile, hear you say my name or some horribly embarrassing nickname you’d dub me and that, surely, I’d love . But I know that if you call my name it’ll echo on the walls around your heart and you’ll find me. Kit Kat named you Angelie, Marie Elisabeth Angelie …I think it’s a wonderful name, I think you’d like to know we all have a Marie or an Elisabeth in this family, me, your mother, and your grandma ha! Even your grandpa (yes odd I know but let it be our secret) So Dark eyed Angelie,

May you grow a heart of gold,

May you see the stars and the moon.

Because only then will things be alright

Don’t be afraid of the world, I wasn’t.

May life judge tenderly of you

I already love you

I’ll wait for the day to see you

I’ll be there to hold you for the first time

I’ll tell you

I was never that far

Tell you your grandpa is a Good man

Just a little too proud

And you are one of the few who make him cry

Dark eyed Angelie

There are so many things that I’d like to say to you

But I don’t know how

Tell you about your grandma

The brown eyed beauty, a queen at heart

Believe me she’d annoy you but you’d love her

See, Dark eyed Angeline

Be a fool; be convinced and just too cool

Bring smiles around you

But keep your ground

Open your heart

Open your mind

But don’t give your soul

Someone one day told me to count my blessings

Before they were all gone,

I guess I just didn’t’ know how

And I was all wrong…

Angel, I’ll keep you locked in my head until we meet. And I don’t know if you’ll see me there, but when its darkness and no one cares I will hear you. That, dearest niece, is the only advice I can give you. And as you grow up I’m sure you’ll be a darling child. I don’t believe that anybody feels the way I do, about you. There are much more many things that I’d like to say to you, but, I don’t know how…So smile; my wonder wall….Believe me,

I sing you songs that echo in your head and in my heart…. that’s where you are.