Hi everyone

I’m soooooooo sorry for the delay, really. I have been LOADED with home work and school activities; my class is responsible for halloween this year, and since we have 29 lazzy students; the event rests on the shoulders of 6 kids..ERGO me, haunted houses, creepy food, coffins you name it we’re giving it big !!! oh yeah i have the home work the SAT and all that too; i go to sleep everyday now around 9 or such I’ve been wanting to write or post DEARLY but i do not find the time. I’m actually stealing some time now to write a note to you guys, which means 5 minutes late for school. But forgive me and do not drop me! LOve you!!

“It’s in your eyes you want to be loved”
- who doesn’t want to be loved?
“True, Love is the elusive thing that many search for and few truly find”
- true love?
“But of course, there is love and then there is true love. Sharing of mind body and soul. Not as common as one might imagine. Sometimes it is there and ignored. Sometimes it just needs a little help”
- and sometimes it just doesn’t exist…
” it always exists one has but to keep their eyes open and their hearts available. You have been fortunate enough to find it, but you’re foolish. You keep your eyes closed and your head buried in the sand. It will pass you by silly girl! You will never have another chance to share its wonder”
- I’m not in love with anyone you’re talking of someone else
“he is here now… you won’t acknowledge him…let him in”
- so I’m here learning that I’ve supposedly fallen in love with my “true love”?
“That would be too easy. Young people today. You have such caution such reserve. You do not believe in love any longer. Fear surrounds you like a heavy dark cloud. Fear of being hurt fear of loss fear of loneliness. To love. you must rid yourself of the fear and open your heart .

Tell my story to a thousand willing ears

Darling when they tell my story I don’t flee

Whispers in dark corners over the years…

Some say I have a heart of stone, a heart of ice

Let them feel free to say…

Let them know all it takes to be me

The Answers they try to find

Reside in their questions

 

I do what I fancy when it strikes me

Twist and Turn the truth how they please

In dark corners they speak of me

On every lips my name curls

What is it like to be hated?

To grow up too quick and too fast?

Am I not ashamed of the life I’m living?

 

Only in whispers, drawn in fear, behind backs

Half spoken as if I were a goddess

They tell my story

Of haunting fear, of taunting pain

No one can live up to what it’s like to be me

 

To any who wants to hear….

No one knows how hard tears come where I’m from

I’ve already seen the worst life can bring

Now I expect it everywhere that I go

All that they say; I already know

 

Tell my story 

In Every Standard and every language

Speak twist and turn

What its like to go trough too much

What its like to be hated?

No one bites back on their anger more then me

Let them speak of my story

So that my memory still goes on

 

….tell my story

Let them know what it takes to be me

To be defeated

When my fist clenches, crack it open
before I use it and lose my cool
when I smile, tell me some bad news
before I laugh and act like a fool
SO that they can learn from me

 

Let them think of me

Let them see me

….. No one knows what its like.

What can you do when the only person that can stop your tears is the one that made you cry? Wipe them away yourself.

What can you do when the only person you live for wants to see you dead? Go on living just to spite them.

What can you do when the only person you get up for is the one that knocked you to the floor? Pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and give them a push in return.

What can you do when the person for whom you’d do anything to see them smile will never smile at you?  get out there and find someone who will.

What can you do when you know the person that haunts your dreams never dreams about you? Find something else to dream of.

What can you do when the only person who you want to put their arms around you is the only one that won’t? Find someone that will hug you even when you don’t know if you need them to.

What can you do when the only person you can ever imagine being with is with someone else? Learn to enjoy being on your own.

What can you do when the one that has your heart smashed it into a million pieces? Take it back, keep it safe, and wait for the one that will try to heal; not hurt you.

What can you do when the only person you’ll ever love, will never love you back? Learn to love yourself.

 

Love, is leap you HAVE to take in life. A man once said: People leap and hope to god they can fly because otherwise they drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the hell did they jump?

 Finding who you are, and your strength is another leap in life, I say:  have wonderful times but never even second guess that you are, where you have been and most importantly where it is you are going ______JUST LIVE_______ Make mistakes! And if the world says : give up” remember that Sometimes it is necessary to stick your tongue out to society and shrug your shoulders at the world, because hope always comes along and whispers” Try one more time”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have you ever floated like an angel

But then had your cloud wiped away?

Have you ever watched the butterflies go towards the sun

And wondered what you will become?

All my life I’ve been sorry for something

Bruises I had for my sins

Bruises that fade… A pain that remains

All this time I’ve been saying I’m sorry

All this time I‘ve been crying

All these nights I’ve been aching

All these years I’ve wanted to scream

Because of the battle inflicted by who I pretend to be.

And all that’s left of me

At night I am careful to never close my eyes

For fear to see him the angel from my nightmare

Some days I think I can take it

At times I don’t think I can make it

I cannot sleep

I cannot dream

A butterfly with unearned wings….that’s what you see.

I have thoughts creeping and haunting every time

Catching and eating my insides

Trying hard to be someone that I know I’m not

And it gets harder everyday

“There’s no one left to love

And at the end of the day you wish your life could go way”

That’s all life brought me….

All, emotions taught me

If I ever was a child I’ve forgotten how

If I were to be a butterfly I’d cry for the outside

For I would not fly

To be someone that I’m not that’s the story of my life.

And so I write with my only freedom…Passion.

All I am is merely…Beautifully broken.

And no one sees…for I am who I pretend to be.

A caterpillar then, now turned butterfly.